Hidden Emotions
by PKswagARU
Summary: Paula may be sweet and innocent, but that's only what it seems like...


She was hated. Around school, the neighborhood, even at home. Nowhere was safe, hate everywhere. Being made fun of on a daily bases. Being abused when looking at her parents the wrong way. Walking outside was a crime.

She couldn't get away. Who knew Paula Polestar, the girl who took care of children and saved the world, could be a victom of self harm. Not only did everyone else hate her, she hated herself. Cutting herself, causing her to wear long sleeves and hide the scars.

This is how other people view this. But it was all different for her.

She figured she did something wrong, made one too many mistakes. And she was punished for it. She died long ago and is now lingering in hell. This is how it was to her. Everyone at school would call her names. In her mind, Going to school was like driving to an insane asilm. Everyone was a voice in her head. Things circled in her mind making her insane.

Getting beat at home for useless things confused her. She figured it was for a good reason. These were her foster parents, as her real parents had passed away due to a car accedent. Her foster parents chose her after all. They were just teaching her a lesson, right? Every time she was emotionaly hurt, She would cut herself. It started out as just sutle scars, but now it looks like a zombie bit her arm.

The way she viewed self harm, was a way to get attention, since she was too scared or shy to tell someone who cared. Almost like she was sending an SOS. A way of telling herself she's done something wrong.

But now, she's had enough. She knows she's not in hell. But she figures even hell would be better than her current state. She's thought it through several times, and has concidered it. It's not like anyone would remember. Not even her companions, Ness, Jeff, Poo, Ana, Kumatora, Lucas, Claus, no one. They would be better off without her anyways. And there were many ways she could go about this as well. A gun, A knife, A noose, A gallon of bleach, the possiblaties were endless. So, she decided to drink as much bleach as she can, and die in her was ready, with a suiside letter all written out;

_Dear loved ones,_

_ I have been suffering for the past few years. From abuse, Self harm, Bullying, and guilt. I am sorry, but I have had enough. As for my friends, please go on without me. There is no reason to blame you. Live your life to the fullest, and don't feel bad about my passing. I love you all. Goodbye._

_ With Love,_

_ Paula_

She taped the note to her door and got settled. She was ready.

She chugged the bleach to its last drop, and layed down in her bed and was ready to kiss life goodbye. She began to remember all of the good times in life. Like her biological parents. Her moms warm smile. The way she helped her get though tough times. and her father, slightly over protective but caring.

And her friends. She was going to miss them. She knew they were going to feel a lot of hurt. She didn't want to leave them, but she was ready. She closed her eyes and was ready to feel her last moments of pain. Drifting off to sleep...slowly...

Ten minutes later, she began to feel nausous. It woke her up right away. She ran straight to the bathroom, throughing up instantly. It was unbearible pain, the slightest movement would cause instant cramps. She couldn't believe the pain. But she knew it would be over soon.

Meanwhile, Kumatora and Ana were just walking to her house to hangout. They knocked on the door waiting for an answer."Yes?" Paula's foster mom answered the door.

"Hey we were wondering if Paula can hangout?" Ana asked sweetly.

"Well, she has been quiet. Come on in, she's in her room." Kuma and Ana walked into the house up the stairs and stopped when they saw the note on the door. Ana and Kuma quickly skimmed though it, shocked at the message.

"Oh my god..." Ana was on the verge of tears. Kumatora however, rushed into the room to check to see if it was too late.

"She's not here!"

"What?"

That's when they heard the painfilled noices coming from the bathroom. The two girls rushed into the bathroom to see Paula, Looking tired and disordered. Paula was surprised to see the girls, but had no time to react. Paula passed out.

Ana and Kuma freaked out, caring her lifeless body upstairs."Oh my god!" Paula's foster mom reacted when she saw her daughter. "We need to take her to the hospital!" Ana shouted, worried that they might be too late.

"But...I've never leared how to drive and my husband's at work..."

"Damnit! Fine, we'll take her to the hospital ourselves!" Kuma shouted signaling Ana to move out. Since Kuma was 18, she knew how to drive. They got in the car and had the long drive to the hospital.

~~~Le Time skip~~~

"Wha..." She opened her eyes only to see a dark hallway with many doors and was extremely long. She got up and began to explore the hallway. The doors were plain, Paula tried to open one, but it was locked. She gave up on the doors and continued to walk foward. She felt a little strange, like it was gettting...smaller. Way smaller. Like every step she took the hallway was getting narrow. Inside she was panicking, but she continued on. Now she could have sworn it was getting smaller. This thought became less of a problem when she saw a bright light...

Once again she opened her eyes, only to be greeted by the concered stares of Kumatora and Ana. "Wha- what happened?" The psychic girl looked around and noticed she was in a hospital. "You... swallowed bleach. You just had your stomache flushed." Ana explained looked relived. "Yeah, and your stupid foster mom was no help!" the princess complained.

Paula closed her eyes and tried to remember what happened."We stopped you from comitting suicide..." Paula suddenly remembered what she tried to do. She looked up and noticed Ana was crying. All of a sudden, she relised if she had done that, she would leave everyone that actually cared about her. Her friends, the people who she trusted, the only reason she was still alive. She felt selfish, like it was unfair to leave everyone behind like that. She hadn't noticed, but she was crying. Thinking of the horrible things she'd put her friends to.

"H-hey guys..." Paula spoke up. Ana and Kuma looked at her, surprised at her voice."I'm sorry...I shouldn't have done that...I was just so...frustrated. I didn't know what else to do..." Paula began to tear up again. Ana got up and hugged her. "If anyone picks on you, tell me, I'll kick their ass." Kumatora said, looking like she was about to kill someone. "I'm just glad you're ok!" Ana said, hugging her tighter. "I promise things will get better from here..."


End file.
